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You're 'avin' a larf!!!
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Jazz Trivia and Frivolity |
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| Well, we've had all the serious pedagogical stuff in the previous pages; this is the place where we can all let our hair down and enjoy a few jokes and funny stories. (Hands up those of you who came here first!!) Apart from sharing my favourite jazz musicians jokes, I'm a bit bereft of funny stories, so if something amusing has happened to you on a gig or during a rehearsal, please share it with us. Even if it hasn't happened to you, we might still be interested, so come on, send me an email at: | ||
| Found on the www.bored.com site, this hilarious guide to singing the Blues is well worth a visit! | You MUST download this fantastic file - takes a bit of time but well worth it - I'll say no more, but get in touch when you've watched it (about 10 times on the trot, if you're like me!) | |
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Trumpet
Jokes
How many trumpet players does it take to change a lightbulb? Five. One to handle the bulb and four to tell him how much better they could have done it. Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the trumpet players. How do you improve the aerodynamics of a trumpeter's car? Take the Domino's Pizza sign off the roof. What's the first thing a trumpet player says at work? "Would you like fries with that?" How many trumpet players does it take to change a lightbulb? Five. One to change the bulb and four to contemplate how Louie Armstrong would have done it. What's the difference between a trumpet and a chain saw? Vibrato, though you can minimise this difference by holding the chain saw very still. What is a gentleman? Somebody who knows how to play the trumpet, but doesn't. How many trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb? None, because the world revolves around them! How many trumpets does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one, but he'll do it too loudly. What's the difference between trumpet players and government bonds? Government bonds eventually mature and earn money. How do trumpet players traditionally greet each other? "Hi. Nice to meet you. I'm better than you." How do you know when a trumpet player is at your door? The doorbell shrieks! Why can't a gorilla play trumpet? He's too sensitive. What did little Johnny's mother tell him when he said "I want to be a trumpet player when I grow up?" "But Johnny, you can't do both." What would a trumpet player do if he won a million dollars? Continue to play gigs until the money ran out. How do you get a trumpet to play FFF? Mark MP on the part. How are trumpets like pirates? They both murder on the high C's Why does a trumpet have three valves? Because trumpet players can't count to four. |
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